The orphan

BY

Marketa J Zvelebil

THE FINE PRINT: The orphan. All the obvious characters are the property of Paramount Studios. The others are mine. This is a TOS story in that it deals with the young Spock. Rated: for all.

Chapter 1 - Arrival.

Amanda slowly and carefully opened the door that sealed the tinted glass-house from the outside arid air. She composed herself for the short walk to her house. Carefully she stepped out and caught her breath. The hot dry air assaulted the fragile membrane-covering of her eyes and nasal passage. Her human physiology was definitely not designed to deal with the dry soft mid-day wind that caused any moisture to evaporate instantly. She didn't mind the heat, but she could not cope with the dryness of this wind. Even its Vulcan name, Shart'tian, cutting wind, described its unpleasant nature. She gathered her strength for the short walk. Her discomfort was her own fault, she thought wryly. In her haste to tend to her small botanical paradise she had forgotten to take her breathing mask and eye-covering that kept the air circulating and moist. It had been early morning when she had left and the air, although warm, had been pleasant enough then. Sarek would be displeased if he knew of her oversight. She smiled tenderly as she thought of Sarek and his denial that he would allow himself to feel displeasure. She entered the pleasant sanctuary of their house. Both the temperature and humidity were set to satisfy both human and Vulcan physiology. She glanced at the large Grandfather clock that she had brought from Earth. Although it couldn't be set to Vulcan time, with a bit of adjustment and time conversion Amanda could tell what time it should show. She sighed. She would have to hurry. It was nearly time to go and pick up Sarek from the Vulcan Science Academy and then make their way to the space-port to meet their new family member. She would have to hurry to have the bath that would regenerate the sore dryness of her body and then change into more acceptable clothing for Vulcan. At least by the time she would have to leave, the Shart'tian would have passed, making the Vulcan air breathable again.

---

The planet below reflected bright in the red-tinted sunshine. Orbiting this orange giant were a multitude of space stations, glistening silver-white in that particular light.

His nose pressed against the window of the space ship, he looked in awe at the sight below and around him. There were a number of ships coming and going, docking at the space stations. The ship that he was on was waiting for clearance to dock. He wished that clearance would never come, that he could stop time and watch this wonderful sight for ever. For a while he forgot his pain, he was lost in the live painting before him.

Then the ship moved and they slowly glided towards one of the tangles of silver-looking hoses that would attach to their ship and guide it to the docking bay. Gently the ship was caught in the grip of the spidery silver glowing legs and eased into one of the bays. Although the beauty of the previous panorama disappeared, the view from his window still showed interesting things. Beings, suited-up for EV work floated around the ship making sure that all was secure. It did not take long. This was a small ship, he had learned, although for him it was the biggest he had ever seen. In fact, it was the only one he had ever seen.

He had been brought up on a colony planet, established a long time ago. The planet's population did not believe in extensive outside contact. The little that there was, was left to the bare minimum, and as a child he was never allowed to meet with any outsider - till now. His was a small community. One city, a few farms. One school, for boys only. He shivered at that memory. He had not wanted to leave his mother. He did not want to go to that school. But every boy had to go and had to live there. The school run by his father. He experienced a bitter taste in his mouth. He could still not quite believe that the school was no more. Destroyed by an earthquake that had also destroyed most of the city. He did not know what had happened to his mother. His throat constricted at the thought that she most likely had died in the quake.

A light tap on his shoulder brought him back from his musings. He recoiled at the touch, and looked around. It was the first officer of the ship.

"We have arrived. Get your stuff together and report to the shuttle. Your assigned guardians are waiting for you," were the instruction delivered in a soft voice that hinted at pity.

He nodded and went to get his small bag from his quarters. It did not take him long to report to the shuttle bay. He felt his heart hammering against his chest. A new world, he had never been off his own planet. This was not even a human world. Why had he been sent here? Was it his punishment? For what he did not even question. His life was always full of punishment for some crime that he apparently had committed without even realizing it. He had never seen an 'alien', only in the few books that he had managed to get a look at, in the school library that he had been forbidden to enter. Fear mixed with anger flowed through him as he was secured in one of the shuttle seats. He was small and the seat seemed very large to him. His legs could not even touch the ground.

After the shuttle landed, he was hustled through the many official stations. Immigration, someone called it. Some of the people that dealt with him were humans, the others were very different to his eyes. Most were much taller, slimmer and the colour of their skin - olive. And the deep dark eyes that looked at him. No smiles, not even the insincere ones that human adults bestowed on him like some mild benediction. Not even the evil smiles that he had seen so many times. No smiles, no changed expression on the faces of these aliens with their pointed ears. He did like those ears, he admitted to himself. He passed through the official channels in a haze. He allowed himself to be led from one place to another, to be examined by a medical team, both human and Vulcan. He had pictures taken, documents put into his hands. He did all that they asked of him, all in silence on his part. Then it was all over and he was taken to meet his so-called guardians, or even adoptive parents. He was ushered into yet another room. In the room, full of plants he had never seen before, and full of bright light, stood a man and a woman. The woman smiled at him. 'Human', flashed though his mind.

"Welcome, I am Amanda. You must be Vincent McAngel. May I call you Vincent?" She asked smiling.

He liked the face, but did not trust it. He liked her voice too. But did not trust it. He did not answer, just gazed at her steadily. She continued to smile.

"I too welcome you, Vincent, and I wish you a long and prosperous life with us." The deeply resonating but sombre voice of the man interrupted his scrutiny of the woman. Vincent shivered. The voice did not hold any threats, but this was supposed to be his new father. 'Father? In what way?' His head began to ache.

"Come," said the Vulcan man and beckoned for Vincent to come closer. With an automatic response to that request, only born out of a life long obedience, Vincent started going towards them. Then stopped, in fear. Both Sarek and Amanda recognised the deep fear that gripped the small child opposite them. Deep down Amanda boiled in rage at the injustice that a child, that young, as young as Spock, her son of eight years, should suffer such fear. Sarek on the other hand was wondering whether they had done the right thing in accepting this child. It seemed logical at the time. The boy needed to be in an environment where there was never any violence done towards children. Vulcan was the best place for that. The child needed quiet and rest. Vulcan could also provide that. The youngster needed access to good education. Vulcan could definitely provide that. The child needed a quiet boy of his own age. Spock could provide that and probably learn a lot from that experience. And if all else failed, Vulcan could provide the best mental healing techniques available. And Sarek and Amanda were the logical choice of surrogate parents. As a human, Amanda would provide the necessary bridge between the two cultures. And Sarek was considered the best authority on humans, although he doubted the wisdom of that. Logical it may be - but it was not going to be simple.

"Please, follow us to the ground vehicle, it will take us home. You must be tired and probably hungry. At home you can get settled in, have a shower and then we can all have supper, and you can meet my son, Spock," Amanda cajoled softly, while turning gently away from Vincent and proceeding slowly to the ground flitter.

At the kind words Vincent's heart constricted. He almost believed them. He almost wanted to rush to that woman and burrow his head in her gown and give way to the tears and pain that was gnawing at him from inside. Almost but not entirely. He would never cry again. That was not allowed. And anyway on the ship, he had had time to watch some of the tapes on Vulcan culture, and children over the age of 3 were encouraged not to show their emotions, not to cry. He could be just as good as her son Spock! These decisions went through his tired mind as he followed the two strangers.

____

He sat next to Spock and opposite Sarek and Amanda. Both Spock's parents were asking their son about his day at the Vulcan Elementary Science Academy. Vincent assumed that was the name for Spock's school. Suddenly Vincent stiffened in anticipation of an angry retort. Spock had not been able to answer his father's question about something he should have learned at school. However Sarek's only gesture was a raised eyebrow. Vincent glanced surreptitiously at Spock. Spock seemed tense to him, but he could not understand why. Sarek had not screamed or hit Spock. Vincent relaxed a bit and moved the purple looking vegetable around his plate again.

Both Sarek and Amanda had tried to get him to answer questions about his home, his journey. They tried to find out what he liked to do. 'Did they really think that he would fall into that trap again?' Vincent had learned early on that not speaking was the safest choice. 'Then usually the punishments were short...but if you gave the wrong answer...' He shivered involuntarily and the ornate fork clattered on to the plate. The noise exploded in his head and he saw, with horror, some of the food drop on to the floor. Before the cleaning-drone could remove the mess, a large furry and fanged animal sleeked in and disposed of the mess as efficiently as any drone. With a stricken look Vincent met the eyes of the Vulcan man sitting opposite him.

"That's Ichaya - my pet sehlat," Spock said suddenly. "You have nothing to fear from her." Vincent looked from Sarek, who had said nothing but merely regarded him with a calm gaze, to Spock. Spock's eyes were shining with a fierce pride. "She belonged to my father and to my father's father before that," Spock continued laying a proprietary hand on the large head of the beast.

"Spock," said his father with mild rebuke in his tone at his son's boasting. "In any case - Ichaya should not be in this room. Please, take her out."

"Yes, father," Spock said softly as he rose to lead the large animal out.

'Will Sarek punish me now for dropping the fork and starting all this trouble?' Vincent waited, his heart beating painfully in his chest. 'I can take any punishment I will not cry!' When only silence met his fears, he looked up from studying his knees. Sarek was finishing his meal, not paying him any further attention. His wife, Amanda, was watching him with a gentle smile. When she saw that he had at last looked up she asked calmly, "Have you finished?" Vincent looked at the hardly touched food on his plate. Where once the different foods had been beautifully arranged on the black stone plate, now a multi-coloured mess was gathering in the middle. He nodded his head. "Have you had enough?" Again he nodded. "Would you like anything else?" He shook his head. The thought of eating anything made him feel sick. "Then maybe you would like to go to your room and rest now. Do you remember where your room is, or should Spock take you there?" He looked around and noticed that Spock had returned. He shook his head and slowly got up from his chair. Spock stood aside to let him pass. Vincent looked at Spock. A calm non-expression was on the Vulcan boy's face. Vincent realised that apart from the moment of pride at Ichaya, Spock had not smiled grimaced or shown any expression at all. 'Is this the absence of emotions of Vulcans that I have read about. Do Vulcans get angry at all? Surely they must?'

Slowly Vincent went up the marble-like stairs. The steps felt cool to his touch. He liked the house. All of it was of polished white or light-green stone, cool and smooth. The stone also seemed to shine and change colour as the daylight changed. So unlike the wood and dark crumbling stone of his planet. The heat and humidity of the day would penetrate those walls, and not until early morning, when he would have to get up, would the night cool off. He compared the small windows set high up in the walls of his old home to these large windows, sometimes covering nearly all of one wall, letting in as much light as possible yet somehow keeping the Vulcan heat out. He let his hand slide across the walls as he made his way to his new room.

----

He couldn't sleep. It wasn't the heat that kept him awake. It was, actually, much colder than he had expected. Cooler than the summer nights on his planet. The air was even pleasant to breathe. Some kind of air-conditioning, he assumed. He was comfortable, the bed was comfortable - and everything was very pleasant - and he was afraid.

The bright light of Vulcan's sister planet, T'Khut, penetrated the window's night-shielding. Vincent thought of T'Khut as Vulcan's enormous moon. He traced T'Khut's rays, reflected on the wall, with his finger through the air. One ray stopped at the corner of the door. 'What will my life be like here?' he wondered, his eyes focused on the end of the 'moon's' ray. 'Will Spock be my friend?' Was Spock afraid of his father? Although his father had not hit Spock when he bragged about that pet of his. Maybe Spock was being punished now. Like his father used to, call him to his office when all the other boys were asleep and then...' A violent shudder ran through his body and closing his eyes he curled into the foetal position hiding under his bed covering. The small body lay tense under the sheet, then at last his tiny fists unclenched, and a deep regular breathing was the only sound in the room.

---

Chapter 2

Three earth months had passed since Vincent arrived on Vulcan. Not once during that time had he uttered a single word.

Sarek sat at his black-stone desk at the Academy. If he were human a deep frown would be prominent on his face. As it was he rested his chin on his steepled hands, lost in deep thought. Vincent was causing him some concern. Amanda had tried hard to coax the boy to speak and even to show any emotion. But apart from an occasional involuntary nervous twitch of the face Vincent looked more Vulcan than most Vulcans. Yet Amanda had told him that often the boy's pillow was streaked with tear marks.

Spock had done all they had asked of him. He had taken Vincent on his mountain walks, to his elementary Academy, had even played Earth-type games and taught Vincent some of the more simple Vulcan ones. But Sarek could see the strain of looking after Vincent showing on his own son. Spock was still not accepted fully by some of the other young Vulcans, and the continuous silent presence of the strange young off-worlder was not making Spock's life any less difficult. Sarek wished, illogically, that he could somehow protect Spock from the intolerances that were found even among the IDIC-believing Vulcans. He let a hardly audible sigh escape his lips. 'Vincent, how are we going to help you?'

Each day that went by without Vincent speaking made Amanda more and more despairing. Sarek remembered their conversation only this morning.

"Sarek," Amanda had come to the garden when he had finished his dawn meditation. "We have to help that boy somehow!" she had exclaimed without even waiting for him to raise up from the meditation pose.

"Amanda, we are helping. Physically Vincent is healthier than he has been and..." Exceptionally, Amanda had interrupted him, a degree of anger in her voice. He knew that the anger was not directed at him but at her inability to help those in need.

"His pain, inside, is breaking him up! What have they done to him? He has to talk about it! He is ONLY human, you know!"

Sarek had risen and was now near his wife. He took her hands in his and let his calmness flow to her. He felt her pain and her fear and was concerned for her well-being.

"Oh Sarek, " she sighed, "I am sorry."

"That is unnecessary, Amanda. But I will get in touch with Healer Ssatk. I think it is time that Vincent saw a mind-healer." It was not a question but a statement of fact. Amanda had argued against it for some time and Sarek had acquiesced, knowing that Amanda only felt comfortable with their personal telepathic link and resented any impersonal mind touch such as that of a healer. Thus Sarek was not sure how other humans reacted to such a mind probe. Any further discussion had been prevented by the sudden appearance of Vincent chasing Ichaya in a friendly game, then stopping in horror at the sight of Amanda and him. In fact, it was only with Ichaya that the boy seemed to relax at all. 'Pity Ichaya cannot talk, Or that a mind meld with the sehlat is not possible. Vincent might have confided his problems to her.' Sarek thought with a wry amusement. He dialled the com-code of Healer Ssatk and made an appointment for him, Amanda and Vincent for early evening. A soft chime alerted him that it was time for him to take the third year students studying the history of the development of "Intelligent" Computers. Today they would cover the embryonic development and subsequent failure of Artificial Inteligence on Earth during the late 20th and early 21st Terran century.

----

The room that Amanda and Sarek took him to was sparsely furnished, and only filtered light came in from outside. This had the effect of giving the room a soft yellowish glow which contrasted with the white stone walls. Only a reclining armchair and a stone stool next to the recliner were in the room. Vincent had been told to take a seat on the recliner, but instead he paced nervously round the room.

Amanda had explained to him, during the ride to this place, that they were taking him to see a Healer who would help him to talk about his past life. Vincent did not quite understand. He was aware that both Sarek and Amanda were trying to make him speak. To tell them about the School he used to go to on his home planet. But his father had told him he must never speak about the special education that he had received. 'You are one of the few lucky pupils. I may be hard on you now, but I will make a true man out of you. I am your father and I will give you a pure soul even if I have to beat it out of you. That is my job. Remember that I love you. Also remember that you must never say anything about what we do at this school or ...' Vincent heard those words as clearly as on the day that his father had spoken them. Afterwards he had been given a taste of the special education. He could hardly walk back to his sleeping chamber. All the other boys had then ignored him. That had been two years ago, just after his older brother had tried to protect him... 'No! I will not think about that. I will never talk again!' He hit the wall with his fist as if to reinforce his decision. As he nursed his hand he noticed that he was being silently watched by an older-looking Vulcan. A quiet serenity and restrained compassion emanated from this man. 'This must be the healer.' Vincent scrutinised the older man.

"I am Ssatk." The Healer approached Vincent and greeted him with the typical Vulcan gesture. When Vincent did not answer or return any greeting Ssatk indicated the reclining seat. "Would you please sit here." Vincent obeyed. Ssatk sat next to him. He could sense the fear that originated from distrust and deep anger. Ssatk looked at the boy's face. Vincent did not avert his gaze. 'Good' thought Ssatk.

"Vincent, I have been asked to touch your mind and to attempt to heal your pain. Will you allow me to touch your mind?"

Vincent got up from the recliner and walked away from the Healer. Then turned round to see if the Healer would force him to sit back down. The Healer, however, remained seated, his steady gaze following Vincent round the room. "It is your choice, Vincent. I cannot force you to open up your mind to me. Even if you allow me to touch your thoughts I will not be able to reach all memories. Only those that I can persuade you to show me willingly."

Unconvinced Vincent remained standing at the opposite end of the room. He was curious, however, he admitted to himself. He had seen the VidInf tapes on Vulcans and their ability to mind-meld. 'And if I tell this Healer what happened at the school through a mind-meld then it won't be really saying it, will it?' He wanted to talk to someone. Even on his home planet the doctors had been kind. And since coming to Vulcan nobody had harmed him.

Slowly he walked back to the recliner. He sat next to the Healer and nodded. The Healer pushed him gently back into the seat. "Relax now." Then Ssatk spread his fingers over the cranial nerve points that had to be touched in mind-meld.

"I am now going to touch your face and you shall feel my presence and I yours. Do not be afraid, try to relax," he said as he delicately positioned his hand over Vincent's face. 'This should be interesting - a human child,' he thought as he ever so cautiously initiated the meld.

"FEAR, BEATINGS, LOVE, FATHER, SCHOOL..."

At first disjointed feelings nearly overwhelmed Ssatk with the force of their emotion. Recovering quickly, he started to shift and order the child's thoughts.

"WE ARE ONE. WE ARE RELAXED. WE DO NOT FEAR. WE CAN TALK."

"NO! WE CANNOT. WE PROMISED. WE WOULD BE HURT IF WE TALK!"

"IT IS PERMITTED TO TALK NOW. NO ONE WILL HURT US HERE."

Slowly Vincent let Ssatk unravel the pain, the confusion of his life at the School of his father. The beatings, followed by the assertion of the father's love for Vincent. The threats if he was not silent. The fearful silence of the other boys who knew what was happening. The dark, cold and damp corridors and closed rooms. The hunger. The longing for his mother. The utter despair.

The part of Ssatk that remained himself, even during deep mind-melds, was shocked to his Vulcan core. As a Vulcan, Ssatk found it inconceivable that such abuse of a child was possible.

"VINCENT IT IS SAFE TO TALK HERE. WE, YOU, HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR."

"NO. TALKING IS DANGEROUS FOR US, AS WAS FOR OUR BROTHER. REMEMBER HE..."

Ssatk came across an inaccessible mind block. The emotions blocking further thoughts on this subject were extraordinary strong. He realised that even from his own self Vincent had locked away this part. For Ssatk to try and get access to it would endanger Vincent. They would have to be patient. Perhaps during a later meld. Ssatk tried to heal the pain he found. Tried to undo the damage that had been done. Tried to give the child some confidence and persuade him to speak. Then with great care he withdrew.

'I feel so alone and empty now.' Was the first thought Vincent had of his own. But to his surprise he did not feel upset about it. It was just a statement of fact. He felt more relaxed, more alive than he could remember.

Ssatk was relieved to have ended the meld. It had been interesting, as he had surmised. But it had also been a meld filled with emotions that he was not used to. It would be a very ill Vulcan that could not control any of his emotions. And although he had performed mind-melds on other human patients, even they controlled their emotions, more than they were aware of. But the human boy had raw feelings bolting through his mind with the force of a lightening in the annual Vulcan thunderstorms. Ssatk nevertheless assumed he had been able to ease some of the pain away.

Vincent looked at the Healer. "Are you well?" the Healer asked. Vincent could not bring himself to speak, but he smiled and nodded. "Good. Please wait here till Sarek and Amanda come for you." The Healer had not expected that Vincent would be healed from one mind-meld and miraculously answer him. He was satisfied that the child had smiled. He stood up. "Live long and prosper, Vincent. We may see each other again." And he left the room as silently and suddenly as he had entered. Vincent stayed lying on the recliner. He felt contented, although he remembered that there was something he wanted to tell the Healer but he could not recall what.

-----

Ssatk faced Sarek and Amanda. He had summed up what he had learned during the meld.

"The rest must come with time. He has been mentally scarred. There is that one particular memory that I cannot reach without harming the fragile mind patterns that he has formed. Whether he will speak we must wait and see." Sarek inclined his head in understanding. "Sarek, Amanda. Live long and prosper"

"Peace and long life," Sarek answered for both himself and his wife. He intertwined his index and middle fingers with those of Amanda's and they left to collect their young charge.

---

Chapter 3.

Amanda sat in the garden. The winter rains had brought on a growth spurt of long-dormant flowers and plants. Even the desert surrounding Shikar was in full bloom with beautifully coloured vegetation. The Llanghan Mountains raising sharply up where the desert ended, however, were still bare. Only a few oasis of vegetation were scattered among the awe-inspiring peaks.

Their garden, however, reminded her of her parental home on Earth. Her mother had been an avid gardener and Amanda had inherited the love for gardening from her mother. Now the carefully stored and engineered seeds came to life. For a short time transforming that small piece of Vulcan into Earth. Soon she would have to harvest the seeds from the flowers and put them into cold storage for planting next year. She folded her hands into the Vulcan meditation posture and focused her gaze on a particularly orange-yellow rose. Her breathing slowed.

Vincent was ambling among the roses, fuchsias and other flowers. He had helped Amanda with the gardening. He had enjoyed the quiet work. But now in the oncoming dusk he felt restless. Ever since the mind-meld with the healer something was pressing on his consciousness. He wanted to talk to Amanda and had nearly responded to one of her questions when they were squatting next to each other, turning over the sandy earth with a garden-fork. But fear had won over and he had closed his mouth again.

He rearranged some of the earth with his foot. 'When will Spock and Ichaya get home?' he wondered. He knew Spock had gone on a small hike into the Llangan Mountains to prepare for his Kaswahn - the Test of Adulthood. He had Ichaya with him for protection. Vincent wondered about this test. He knew Spock would traverse the dangerous mountains all by himself and that it would take 3 to 5 days to do so. No contact was allowed with the aspirant during this time. Occasionally, silent flitters would fly over to check on the participants but only in case of a life-threatening situation would help be offered. In that case, however, the child would stay a "child" until the next Kaswahns. Vincent burned to ask if he could pass this test. He wanted so much to prove himself to Spock, Sarek and Amanda. But the question only burned in his eyes, left unspoken. He looked at the silent figure of Amanda. Then having come to a decision, he quietly left the garden through the automatic gate and ran towards the Mountains glowing orange in the setting sun.

Spock was leaning against the warmed, smooth rock of a mountain ledge, his hand resting on Ichaya's head. The sehlat had sprawled out, taking over most of the ledge. Spock smiled with affection at the big furry beast. Here he allowed himself the free rein of his emotions (such as he permitted himself to feel). He was pleased with the time he had made on this walk. He was permitted one more walk in the Llangan range before starting his full Kaswahn trek. 'I must not fail! Father would never forgive me, nor I myself.' A slight frown marred the otherwise inscrutable face.

He watched Vulcan's setting sun. The colours and shades the sun's light carved through the desert below him were beautiful. He felt a deep love for Vulcan. Suddenly he narrowed his eyes. Surely that was a child running towards the foot of the Mountains. Who would be foolish enough to go into the Mountains at this time of the evening? Everyone knew that during winter the Mountains were dangerous at night. The nightly rains causing rock falls and floods that even the strongest of Vulcans could not survive. He himself was about to descend from his ledge to the safety of the flat sand below him.

As the figure got closer Spock realised that there was only one child in Shikar that would not know the mountains as intimately as all young Vulcans did. 'Vincent!' flashed through his mind and an irrational and illogical irritation accompanied that thought. He reprimanded himself for that emotion. Here he was about to undergo the passage of child-to-adult and such emotions insisted in making their presence felt. He channelled away the anger at the irritation that started to rise in him. He concentrated on the small form below him.

Vincent was trying to climb up to where Spock was. He must have seen him from below. For a while Spock watched, silently, the belaboured progress of the human child. Then Vulcan training took over.

"Vincent, this way. Here, " he shouted and indicated an easier route.

Vincent waved in acknowledgement and climbed up to the ledge under Spock's guidance. Tiredly he flopped down next to the prone sehlat. Vincent embraced Ichaya and the sehlat responded with a deep satisfied growl. The boy then tried to tug the sehlat closer to him. Spock got up and stood next to Vincent. "Don't tug at her!" Vincent, bone-tired from his run and climb, snuggled deeper into the inviting furriness of the sehlat who was still growling contentedly, and closed his eyes.

The sun had set and a bitterly cold wind was starting to blow. Dark clouds were gathering in the North. Spock stared at the human boy snuggling to his sehlat. He felt jealous. An emotion he had not experienced before. "We can't stay here. It's getting dark and dangerous. So get up," he said gruffly turning to leave, "Ichaya." He commanded. But Vincent held onto the sehlat. "Let her go!" Spock raised his voice and came to take Ichaya. Vincent lashed out. All the accumulated past fear, anger and hurt were channelled into that one physical act. His nails raked at Spock's face. Fresh green blood flowed freely down Spock's forehead and cheek.

"You mute freak!" shouted Spock looking at his blood-covered hand as he wiped his face. As soon as the words left him he felt ashamed. This was a serious breach of Vulcan hospitality. He had felt jealous and superior and Vincent needed his help not his contempt. Maybe he was not ready yet for his Kaswahns. He looked at the shocked face of the boy. Tentatively, Spock reached out to touch Vincent.

"Don't hurt me, please." Vincent whispered the words, having in mind more the emotional pain rather than any physical hurt.

Surprise and hope at hearing the first words that Vincent had spoken flowed through young Spock. He touched Vincent's shoulder and felt the boy tremble under his hand. Vincent grabbed Spock's hands pulling him closer. Unintentionally Spock's fingers, as he tried to gently extricate himself from such close contact, touched Vincent's face. The force of the telepathic bond was intensely painful for both. Raw emotions hit Spock time and time again. He tried to leave.

"PLEASE SPOCK DON'T!" Vincent pleaded in his mind and Spock felt the human's attempt at hiding the most painful emotions. He stayed.

Slowly the children explored each others experiences. The happy ones, the painful ones. Spock wondered at the differences between them and their lives and savoured them. He also noted the similarities. Vincent felt incredulity at the ordered state of Spock's mind. He felt happy at being accepted by Spock and through Spock by Sarek and Amanda. He saw Spock's pain at being termed a 'half-breed' and his will to become Vulcan in all terms. He saw, through Spock, how Vulcans treated their children, the respect and attachment they felt for them. He saw the compassion that was so much part of even this young Spock.

"WHAT IS THIS FUNGUS PICKING/HUNTING?" Spock's intense curiosity, now part of himself, asked. He showed Spock a mental picture of a Boletus-mushroom. He recalled how one cut the mushroom at the stem and tried to remember the taste and smell for Spock. All along a joyful mental laughter accompanied this memory.

"FASCINATING," flashed through his/their mind(s). Thus they learned from each other and Spock realised the true meaning of Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations and transformed mentally the concept back to Vincent. Time passed quickly in this mutual exchange of experience and knowledge.

Suddenly Spock encountered a dark blocked door in Vincent's mind.

"PAIN, MY/OUR BROTHER!" sliced through his cerebral neurones.

"SHOW ME/US, WE ARE ONE. WE ARE STRONG. I/WE WANT TO HELP."

"OUR BROTHER. OLDER. PROTECT US FROM PAIN. TELL SECURITY ABOUT SCHOOL. NOT BELIEVED. OTHER BOYS NOT TELL. BROTHER SEND BACK TO SCHOOL. OUR BROTHER KILLED. BEATEN TO DEATH. PAIN."

Spock's breath stopped at the atrociousness of the images he experienced within Vincent's mind. He felt himself being lost in them. He tried to break the meld by repeating, mentally, the separation-chant, "I AM SPOCK, I AM ...WE ARE...I.." His strength was seeping away "WE ARE...NO I...WE ARE WE..."

"YOU ARE SPOCK, YOU ARE VINCENT. YOU ARE SPOCK. SPOCK, GO. I WILL TAKE CARE OF VINCENT," The sudden calm, gentle but firm mental voice of Sarek caught hold of him. Spock felt the secure mental guidance that allowed him to withdraw safely, without causing harm to either himself or Vincent.

Spock opened his eyes. Sarek and Shalk, his father's cousin, were on the ledge. Total darkness had fallen. The two dineon torches were the only light source on this dark night. Steady rain was falling and Spock noted that he was drenched. Sarek had withdrawn from the meld. Vincent looked dazed but happy. 'I am not alone anymore,' he thought bemused.

Sarek turned to face Spock, now covered in a rain-proof cloak that Shalk had put round him and was wrapping Vincent in.

"I presume you have an adequate explanation for this situation." He addressed his son gravely.

"It's all my fault!" shouted Vincent as he was helped up by Shalk.

Sarek looked at Vincent with mild surprise. He had, during the short meld, taken some of the mental anguish away but he had not expected Vincent to speak.

"Spock has helped me. I came here and then I wanted Ichaya and...and..." Vincent felt exhausted and tears started stinging his tired eyes. His mind felt like a heavy fog was descending on it, and clear thought became difficult.

"Still. You are tired. Let Shalk take you down to the flitter. We will talk later," Sarek said as gently as possible and indicated to Shalk to take Vincent away. Shalk and Vincent were followed by a very wet and disgruntled sehlat who, during the whole deep meld, had tried to protect the two humanoid animals from the rain and wind with her furry bulk.

"Tell me what has occurred, Spock," Sarek said firmly but put his hand gently on Spock's shoulder and helped him down the steep incline to where the ground-flitter was waiting. The dineon-torch lit their way while swinging in the wind. Spock explained all that had occurred. He did not omit to admit to his own feelings of envy and irritation, but rather demanded what he could do to control them. The meld with Vincent had left him more secure of his own human part. As they neared the flitter he finished, saying. "Father, I have learned that the Vulcan way is the best way and I wish to follow it. But I will not deny my human blood either."

"Tonight I am proud of you, Spock. And certainly you should not deny that which is. Nor should you be ashamed of it."

Spock was gratified at his father's praise. He also felt a yearning to travel to other worlds and to sample such diversity that he had only tasted this night. He did not know, that night, that that seed of yearning would cause a coldness between him and his father that would last for many years.

---

Vincent smiled sadly and waved a last good-bye. The doors of the space-port closed behind him. He felt Spock's essence. Spock had called him "friend, brother, my other self - thy'la". A year ago he had walked through these doors to come to Vulcan, now he was leaving, his mother at his side. He looked up at her. She smiled and her eyes were filled with love. He smiled back and said: "Where, again, are we going exactly?" He loved to hear her voice pronounce that funny name. "Spittal of Glenmuick, Old-Scotland, Earth," she obliged. He laughed at the name and felt awe at the concept of returning to Earth. The planet his ancestors had left centuries ago. A new life with a new beginning with his own mother. He was happy and sad to leave Spock and his parents behind. 'Will I ever see them again?' he thought as he savoured the memories of the mind-meld he had shared with Spock. 'Thy'la'.

----

Commander Spock unfolded his hands from his meditative posture and looked at his Captain and friend. 'Thy'la, as well.' he thought as he remembered Vincent and idly wondered what had become of him, his brief childhood friend. He knelt before the meditative position of his Captain. Gently he straightened Jim's back and corrected his folded hands. He felt Jim's steady breathing and, touching his forehead lightly, sensed that the Captain was indeed in a deep relaxed state. 'You are learning well, my friend,' he thought as he folded himself back onto the meditation cushion. 'And what about you, Vincent?' he asked himself before entering the meditative state of mind. The flame in the Vulcan statue burned steadily and released the fresh fragrance of Vulcan herbs. Spock's cabin was, for a short time at least, a Vulcan oasis of rest in an otherwise hectic starship's life.

----

Night was falling. The first stars emerged slowly. Soft specks of golden light against the velvet darkness of the night.

Vincent sat in an old-fashioned stile rocking chair, smoking a pipe and watching the stars. A cool breeze ruffled his greying hair. The loud voices and merry laughter of his grandchildren playing inside the house intermingled with the sounds of nocturnal animals. Vincent smiled, rocked and puffed on his pipe with deep satisfaction and happiness.

A light streaked across the dark sky. A big grin appeared on Vincent's bearded face as he wondered if that rapidly moving brightness was a starship and in particular the Enterprise, where he knew that his friend served. 'You have changed my life, Spock - thy'la - my old friend. I hope you are as content as I am,' he formed smoke-circles with his pipe sending them towards the sky. The moon appeared over the top of the hills, her full glory bathing the countryside in silver light. A lone owl hooted. Vincent got up. 'Time for the children's bed-time story', he went in and softly closed the door. The empty rocking-chair swayed to and fro, softly squeaking on the polished stone porch.

THE END